In Search of Total Heston

Heston's Masterchef Challenge c/o The Telegraph

[Editor’s Note: Please read the following post in an adventure/story book voice. In your head. Or out loud. It’ll help. We apologise for the inconvenience. Miss ColPanna]

So I got suckered into Masterchef last year, and along comes this guy with an absurdly complicated – some would say impossible – recipe for a burger, as part of a challenge. The 4+ hour prep time at competition speed might put some off, but as anyone who knows me well will say the absurdity and complexity of such a thing just makes it more of an enticing challenge for me.


I scoured the Internet for that recipe, and though I wasn’t able to find anything vaguely similar I was exposed to many of Heston’s outrageous adventures and his scientific approach to cooking. And so began my interest in one Mr Heston Blumenthal.

Later in the year I did actually come across a blogger who had spent a messy weekend making Heston’s Perfect Burger, and though they didn’t seem to be completely satisfied with the outcome it did give me a renewed enthusiasm for the story that I would tell after such an epic feat – and most importantly it gave me access to Heston’s recipe! Armed with this information and ignoring the obvious reasons not to, I determined to make the most gruelling and expensive burgers of my life before the year was out.

Sadly this was not to be. Just as I was starting to contemplate it seriously, Liv was out of work and we were both time and financially poor. There was another boon amongst the bad news however, she had noted my enthusiasm for the ways of the great gastronomer and bought me a copy of In Search of Total Perfection – which contains among many other rituals of foodie fervour the famed Perfect Burger recipe. “Hurrah, a sign!”, I thought upon receiving the revered tome, and silently swore to fulfill my burgery destiny once we were back on our feet.

Fear not another wayward turn, dear reader! Despite numerous further obstacles it has come time for me to embark on a shopping trip for the ages, and to try my hand at insanity in the kitchen.

That’s it from me, just a quick one today. More to follow!

Mr. ColPanna


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